blessings...

I am slowly seeing the truth emerge; there never will be all the time I want or need to do all the things I wish to. There is always, however, enough time to do what I need to. When my children were little, always home and with me, I thought that when they were in school I would have time for the creative projects I was interested in. I was convinced that I would suddenly have 6 hours a day in which I could delve into absorbing work and play. But my children are definitely the most absorbing work I have ever done, and I have more to do now than I ever did! In the last few years I have noticed myself laboring under the same kind of fallacy... only this time I have been trying to make myself believe that once my children are grown and gone I will have loads of time and all the flexibility in the world. Alas, I am gradually becoming aware that this, too, is only wishful thinking! So, all I really have to work with is the moment I am actually in... I can plan and hope and dream, and if I a...

Kirby has been away marking provincial exams for a week... Late last night he came home, and he was up at 5 this morning to meet his work day early. By lunch time Jack was gone, too. They are at a basketball tournament out of town until tomorrow night. Mary was looking after a friend's little one here today... she is wildly excited to be old enough to babysit on her own now! She had another little visitor here with her in the late afternoon, and she and Emma have had a very busy, very helpful evening...! I had a lot to do this afternoon, very unexpectedly, and my girls took everything in stride. I am proud of them. They love to play, and they are so happy and energetic. I was happy to have a moment to dance with my little Emma this afternoon, before things got so busy. Anyway, what I want to say today is that I feel richly blessed to have home. A place where we can all come to and go from... Whether we are here to change clothes and rush off to the next pressing moment life has fo...

It's exam week for Jack, and he's pretty well done for the week. So, apart from basketball practice, he is more or less his own man this week. It's a treat for me to have him kicking around the house. Somehow, I feel relaxed and still energetic when my children are at home. I love it, because I miss having them here most of the time for school... :( But it's great for me today to have a day at home, with the boy somewhere in my general vicinity. I am actually having quite a productive day... I have been doing lots of housework, and some scout badge stuff with Jack, and lots of other little tasks that make me feel like a bee in a hive making honey. Which reminds me, I have to go get warm laundry form the dryer and put the bread in the oven. Happy, happy me. AAAhhhhh.

I had a conversation with a good friend today that has inspired me and, I hope, left me a wiser, and stronger person. I feel like I want to be a hero in the way I face my life, like she is. Thank Heaven for good friends.

A few years ago, when I'd been ill, my sweet Mom gave me a pale pink blanket. It's really soft and warm, and has a texture like a lamb. I love it. The man I sleep with at night always seems to go to bed nice and toasty warm, and wake up a bit chilled. I, on the other hand, find that I am rather on the cold side when I retire for the night, and by rise-and-shine time I am all cozy. So, I often take my baby blanket to bed with me at night and cuddle up with it under the duvet. It really works. I get warm fast, and Kirby doesn't have to cook. Today when I was resting, fighting a migraine, I was very grateful for this blankie of mine, let me tell you! I feel better now, and that's happy too. :)

I know we all think our children are the best thing that ever happened. It's only natural. I feel so blessed to have each one of my precious children. I hope I am learning every day from their shining examples and willingness to learn! Here is why I am grateful for my son, Jack... At about 7:30 this morning we received a call saying that school was canceled due to inclement weather and roads. (See, it's not just me being a wimpy baby about the winter weather- the wind really is atrocious sometimes. That's why we have all these wind farms!) Anyway, during the day Jack was such a good brother to my girls. He was still a boy, but the kind that makes me think, 'This is why I wanted a big brother for my children.' He gave them a hand with some helping-out jobs they were doing, and showed them he likes them. A little attention and time spent together can go a long way. They were so happy around him, even though his ways of showing love weren't quite as quiet or gentle...

This morning I had to run Jack up to the store before school to replace a missing calculator for a math test. On the way we saw the beautiful sunrise glowing brilliant gold against the mountains in the west. It thrilled me, and it might have thrilled Jack... he did say he was impressed. :) Something like this can make up for a lot of cold wind and blowing snow! I am happy I can go to my piano lesson this morning, and also that Jack is having so much fun with basketball. It makes me happy to see how much he enjoys the game. And he's good.

Kirby lived in South Korea for two years on his mission, and we still have the scriptures in Korean... Emma has gotten to know a couple of boys from there in her grade at school, and she is fascinated with their language. So she has started having Kirby give her lessons, and she is learning it so fast! It's kind of weird, seeing my little 10-year old daughter learning things so completely foreign to me- especially so easily. Yikes. (But in a happy way :) So tonight when I came home from Cubs, bringing Jack and Mary from their fun and games up at the church, this is what we saw: my husband and my littlest girl stretched out on the living room floor with flashcards, papers, stickers, books, and smiles! Of course I had entertained a small hope that Emma might be in bed by the time we got back, but how could I complain about a dad who so selflessly gives his time and energy to his children, that he loses track of a little time... ? Exactly. This is after he finished coaching Jack'...

This morning I walked for a long time in the hoarfrost with my friend, and my dog. It was energizing and invigorating, and possibly the best part of my day. We wear our ski pants, and I wear my crazy warm hat. Our exposed hair and even the wool on her hat was white with frost by the time we got home. So pretty, and no wind, really. We saw four deer down the hill, when we were on a path at the top of the canyon. They were pretty , and nervous about the dog, so they kept turning around to look at him even when their bodies were facing the opposite direction... it was funny and cute. (They needn't have worried. Jasper doesn't have a vicious bone in his big hairy body!) Later, when we were down along the creek path, I tried to match my pace to the energetic and brisk stride of my partner, and realized I am pretty out of shape. Tomorrow we will go again.

Mary is changing quickly into a blossom from a bud. Very quickly. It seems to be happening overnight... I feel blessed to have had the precious cocoon of her childhood... Now it's fun to watch her coming out into a butterfly before my eyes. We gave her a little make-up for her birthday, and she and I 'made pretty' together in my bathroom this morning. She doesn't need it, but it's a little fun- just a cherry on top.

The fact is, I can be just a wee bit absent-minded at times. It surprises me when things slip my mind, but I think it surprises other people more. This morning I was missing my walking partner... (Our lives haven't lined up for our morning walks this week.) I was also wondering how I was going to get the house decorated, the food prepared, and myself from 'pajama mama' to 'pretty for the party mama' - all in a matter of a few hours. (If this sounds like a piece of cake to you, perhaps you will bear with me; we all have our strengths, and we all have our weak areas, right?  : ) I called my partner, to see if she would like to come decorate with me. I will spare you the details of the conversation in which it became clear to me that she was then driving to meet me for our (scheduled, but forgotten!) walk..., and in which it became plain to her that I had completely blanked our plans. She came in and we did streamers and balloons, angel food cupcakes and whipped cream....

Thankfully, I can always munch on some almonds! I am not a huge fan of milk or eggs or cheese, all those good sources of protein. The mood has to be just right, which doesn't often happen, to tell you the truth. So I am happy there are lots of almonds in the kitchen, which almost always appeal, and always satisfy when I eat them.

I think this is a Latin word that means 'enough'...? Well, that is what I feel blessed with today. Sometimes I think there isn't enough... time, energy, etc... I worry that I can't do and be all I need to... I feel inadequate and anxious... that I am not resilient enough for real life, and can't really cope, never mind thrive. I want to be happy for my children, and supportive for my husband, and good to my other loved ones. I want to make life cheerful and sweet for the precious children I have; this is their only childhood, and the memories and sense of hope needs to last them the rest of their lives. I want to improve the power of my mind and the skills in my hands. And this morning I read something that encourages me... There is enough. I don't have to do it all by myself. And what I do have to do, I can do. I am capable. What energy I need, I have. It's somewhere within me... not always easy to locate, but I can find it... :) Usually. What joy I want t...

I've missed writing while I've been so busy lately, but the things that I am busy with are many of my sweetest blessings... Last night I just sat down and talked with Kirby. He'd had a hectic day, and I listened to him and made him smile. I wouldn't have traded that long talk in the living room for any amount of writing- or reading in the bathtub, for that matter. I could go on about what has been given to me in the past few days, but I want to say two things instead; I am grateful for this place to write. It's so good for me, to come in here and consider, and express myself... and sometimes people I love tell me they enjoy reading what I write. That makes me really happy. Also, I was just tidying up the pillows and blankets on the couches in the living room. I had just made my 'daily' pass at vacuuming up the dog hair and dust from the rug, and the cold winter sun was streaming in through the windows... (This bright sunny room is another one of my favorite ...

I feel happy and refreshed, not only because I just came in from a walk with Jasper through a lot of fresh snow and a lot of fresher cold... It was the best weekend I can remember. Kirby asked me out for a dinner date at a little local restaurant on Friday night, and Saturday night we went to a fun party, with a good dj... it was a surprise birthday for a friend, and our whole family had some very good fun on the dance floor!  I loved dancing with Kirby and my girls, and a baby... and the most exciting moment for me was when Jack took Emma out jiving! That's it- we didn't go anywhere far away or warm. We did stay in bed a little longer in the mornings, and walk the dog together late one night. We did plenty of house cleaning while Kirby had to mark papers most of Saturday, and just relaxed with our children a lot. Kirby and Emma played some crazy game of dollies yesterday afternoon... something involving flashlight fireworks and an action-packed plot... I was helping Mary learn...

I was under general anesthetic this morning for some delightful procedures at the hospital. Thank Heaven for that! But what I am really even more grateful for tonight is two friends... I'd asked one of them to give me a lift home from the hospital. Two showed up together, and brought me home with a delicious home-cooked dinner in a crock pot, home-baked buns, and home-made brownies! They then proceeded to walk my dog, clean up my kitchen, and bring me water where I lay on the couch... wishing the general anesthetic had killed the 2-day old migraine! These are the same two angel women who come every month to visit me, caring and listening, and building my faith each time. I am so blessed by the Relief Society- they sure provided relief to me today! I only want to be so kind and give such meaningful and heartfelt service to others, as they give to me. Thank Heaven for Jesus, whose love fills our hearts and inspires us to take good care of each other.

I once heard a wise man say, 'There is a difference between 20 years of experience, and 1 year of experience repeated 20 times.' I know he's right, but I am definitely repeating several 'grades' of life's experience... I probably will be until I get them right! Notice my optimistic use of the word 'until' rather than dwelling on the possibility of that never happening. :) What I am grateful for today is the people who live with me, near me, or far away but can't escape because we're related, and those who could give up on me (having none of those binding ties :), but don't. Thankfully, my life has always been filled with kind and loving people who accept me, and show me a good example. 'No man is an island...' is right. Counting a couple other blessings today... vitamins, Jasper the dog, and strong walls between me and the howling wind that sounds like it'll never quit. Also, pictures of summer days by the lake with my children- ...

I believe I am divinely guided. I believe I will always take the right road. I believe God will make a way where there is no way. -Captain William Robert Anderson, (who first took a submarine under the North Pole...? or something like that.) from a book written by Gordon B. Hinckley

I had hoped to teach a few children piano after school, starting in September. Then I realized that it was impractical, as I am the family shock absorber! After school is the busiest time with my children, and we have to be pretty creative as it is, to swing everything after school with three children, one car, and usually only one parent available. Jack and Mary and Emma are old enough now to have school sports sometimes, and so on, and so on, ad infinitum... Anyway, I explained to my friends, who were very understanding. But I was very disappointed not to be teaching their little ones... Well, here's the happy part- Another friend, who teaches her 6 year-old daughter at home, has asked me to teach her little girl! So I start today...  :) It's perfect, because I can do it during the school day while my children are at school. I felt very inspired about teaching piano, and it was a let down when the timing was wrong for my first arrangement, in the fall. Now, I feel like maybe...

Somehow we woke up at 6 again this morning, far before the crack of dawn... I wasn't sure we could, after the luxury of long restful mornings during the holidays! I am so happy I could step right back into my work life, going all day. It shouldn't be such a big deal, but it is :) I am really grateful that I felt strong and could accomplish so much today. I was even organized enough to practice the piano before the end of the school day. It just feels so good to be back up and at 'em... back into the swing of things...groovin' again.

Today we went to see my sister and her boyfriend, who are down our way for the weekend. There's nothing like being with someone I love and don't often see...  a sweet treat. And great to see my family feel the same. I am grateful that Kirby drove us safely home over roads obscured with blowing snow, especially after an extremely late night! Last week he was giving a friend a hand with something heavy and hurt an old and serious back injury... Thank Heaven it doesn't seem to be as bad as it's been the other times. I really hope he'll be over this one soon, and with as little pain as possible; he's pretty tough, and doesn't complain much, and I don't like to see him hurt. And thank Heaven today is an easy place to make a fresh start! I am ready for one of those :)