blessings...

I am thankful for a decent sleep, and for the inspiration that rested gentle and pure in my mind when I prayed for a solution to an old problem, when I woke up this morning. I just didn't know what to do, and I knew I couldn't fix it by myself. I remembered a cool story from the Bible about David and Abigail. It was a perfect answer. Perfect. I love how Heaven helps me. As I said, the day was good right through... We had little girls coming out of our ears, and they danced and sang and played here with my own. I did little things around the house, and felt ok, in spite of the not-so-pretty purple marks under my eyes... I just didn't care, really- so happy to be up and about and have sweet little people around. I felt hungry, and ate. Yay! I chatted a little with a couple friends, and received a parcel from my beautiful sister. Precious handmade gifts spilled out with love from over the mountains... A simple day, really. It feels good to be friends with the people I liv...

After a mixed up little cocktail of medicines last night, I had another night of insomnia. Oops... it seems like that double dose of excedrin migraine wasn't such a good plan with my other little bedtime treats :O What amazes me is that I am up, and how resilient we are made to be as human beings. And not just our bodies, but our minds and our hearts. I can keep going when I don't feel like I have anything left and my hopes are just fumes. I can get up, and talk with my family and friends, and take care of our home, and I am even planning to venture out this afternoon for a sledding date with Emma in the new fallen snow... I can carry on, and eat a little, and actually make plans, even when I feel overwhelmed by the world, and life in it. I can try to be a gentler and more patient person today, even though all I really want to do is burrow into my bed and hibernate. I can listen and forgive when I'm actually inclined to become a hermit. I can consider ways to be more confi...

What I wrote on here this afternoon is lost forever in cyberspace. The post couldn't go up because of a problem with our internet connection, which my clever husband has since repaired single-handedly... a thing I could never see myself doing! It makes me consider what a blessing the internet is- having a little taste of life without it. I appreciate how easy it makes communicating, and learning things- from the weather to the news to wikipedia to the scriptures- it's all there; literally at our fingertips. Yay! What I had written earlier was that I really enjoyed practicing the piano today. I hadn't practiced for a while, and it feels so good to push my brain and my hands to do something that's hard for me, and super-satisfying when I get it together... whether it's an arpeggio with tricky fingering, or an intense few measures in a sonatina, it feels great to do it. I am blessed to have a brilliant teacher, and a supportive family; my husband is always more than h...

It was a pleasure to see and squeeze some friends today, who have moved away and are back around for Christmas. I especially love my one sweet friend; she is always a treat to be with. :) I am glad to say that when my daughters and I came back home after church, Kirby and Jack were looking a lot more alive again! We all relaxed together, watching the Nativity movie. It was so cozy. Just now, I feel blessed by the lovely (if very slow) walk we all just took together, under the stars. Emma was tickled pink to have her little doll with her, making dolly footprints in the crunchy snowcrust with her little Christmas boots on. Jack is still in his pajamas, so he wore his new snowpants, even though it's not very cold out there; just perfect for a snowy, starry stroll with my favorite people.

We woke up this morning to the sad sound of my boy, violently sick. I don't know how many times this happened before Kirby joined him. Needless to say, this put a bit of a damper on our day, especially for Kirby's Dad, who was now the only man up around here... having come a long way with his Mom for  Christmas visit... :(  My girls enjoyed plenty of time together, and I had some good talks with Ethel while we made food together in the kitchen. We also enjoyed a lovely walk in about 15 degree weather- a sunny blue sky. While we were walking along Broadview, we saw a horse and rider gallop through the field next to us. It was a treat; we are town- dwellers! Mary and Emma were a bit glum by dinner, sad that their dad and brother were missing out on the feast. I had the pleasure of providing some small cuddles to my dear little Emma throughout the meal, as we sat side by side. But by the time the meal was done, Mary was so upset she left the table feeling ill, and in tears. Than...

Last night we watched Charlie Brown's Christmas, which reminds me of Christmas at Dad's.  I still love Linus' voice. There's nothing like it. And he's right about the true meaning of Christmas. Tonight, when Kirby's parents are here, we'll be doing what he did, and reading the original Christmas story from Luke 2. We'll sing some carols and exchange all our gifts. It still seems a bit strange to me, doing all that tonight, but it's a tradition we've always kept from Kirby's parent's- the German side. And I do love it, every time it comes around. It's not bad, presents early and all that...  :) After Charlie Brown we watched It's A Wonderful Life, which reminds me of Christmas at Mom's. I hope I'll also be doing what George Bailey did, and somehow sweetening and brightening the lives of the people I know, in spite of all my flaws... with my real, unglamorous life.  Not a lot can matter more than this, because it's what...

Literally... A wicked summer hailstorm came and eventually, after almost endless fun with the insurance company, we received reimbursement for our cedar shake roof. It is enough to re-roof (in a normal shingle), and pay off our car, which we did today! Thank Heaven for what only Heaven could have sent. There is no relief like paying off a debt. This evening, Kirby and I went to the temple together. It was wonderful- what else could it be? I love the feeling of knowing that while we enjoyed the peace and serenity there, we were passing on temple blessings to ancestors who never had the chance during their life on earth. It was a great Christmas gift for me, to be able to go together... And the dinner by the fireside in a restaurant in Waterton wasn't too bad either. I am convinced that I am a very blessed woman. Life is a beautiful, rich gift...

Mary and I had most of the night and day sick in my bed together! It was not fun to feel ill, but I am grateful for the silver lining; we had hours to hold hands and we talked a little here and there... Sometimes she lay her head on my shoulder, and I played with her wild hair. The down time came at a price, but it came...  :) Thank Heaven for Kirby- the kind of man who takes care of things while I'm down! He looked after us, and then looked after the house and Jack and Emma today.  And I'm grateful for my sweet generous children, who saved so hard and were so happy to buy some lovely Christmas gifts for their family. I know I am blessed.

I don't have to have any more experience with insomnia- 3 nights in a row has provided sufficient evidence- it's not for me. The case is closed. However, I faked my way through the week, acting out the part of a real person doing my real life pretty well, actually. I think. As long as it worked for my children, (which I think it kind of did?).... Anyway, it's over now, and I am grateful that the Christmas holidays have started! And that I had a dreamy Saturday, which included special friends, and having Mom come! We have been baking our favorite Christmas treats and she is teaching me how to do family history, which is petty addictive, actually. I feel so connected, and part of something old and unique. I am thankful that Mom was here to hear my girls play their special pieces on the piano in church today, and that my children are such cool kids, (they are busy making gifts this afternoon :), while their Papa bear gets a well deserved nap. Speaking of which, I think I shoul...

The snow falling outside here today has to be the lightest and flakiest I've ever seen. It could be an ad for amazing pastry. If it's going to be winter, December is a good time for it, and if it's going to get cold, then throwing in some breathtaking snowflakes is a very civilized way to present it all... So I am happy to sit here in my little gingerbread house as it receives its artistic layer of white icing sugar tonight!

When Kirby's alarm clock rang this morning, I was still waiting to fall asleep for the night. I had fallen into a brief and disturbed dream around 2, but other than that I'd spent the night lying in bed, trying vainly to sleep... I stayed there, hoping for a chance, and I heard Emma playing Still, Still, Still softly on the piano before school. It was sweet music to my ears, that little lullaby, just then. I am looking forward to a follow-up appointment with my neurologist in a couple days, because I have been reading from a book (written by a very qualified and experienced neurologist), which has helped me to understand a bit more about all this, and what can help! I think there may actually be a light at the end of the tunnel, and of course, that's happy :) We are so blessed to live in a time and place full of knowledge and awareness and helpful information! Literally at the tip of our fingers... I read an old novel, in which a very minor character was a woman who lived ...

Now that I've been up for a while, there's more to be thankful for. This evening after dinner we talked with our children about the true meaning of Christmas, and how we can celebrate this in three very meaningful ways; giving each other gifts from the heart (taking time to be with and do for one another), caring for those in need, and offering some real personal change as a gift to The Gift- Jesus. Well, after this, with a couple songs and a couple scriptures, we were all feeling it, despite the fact that the success of this venture looked quite dubious at the outset! (Emma was in tears after yet another 'rough play' with her brother, who was not feeling much disturbed by this at all. Someday they'll learn...? I live in hope, and in the meantime can only try...) As soon as Emma was on her way to bed, Mary wasted no time in setting about her sweet task of making a book of gift cards of her sister... the hours of love and time and energy she is giving are priceless....

I am grateful tonight to be feeling alot better! I shouldn't complain about the flu and all its delights... I know I don't get it as badly as some people do, and it seems to be passing pretty quickly. Still, I am glad to see the back of it! It's nice to be a little more up and alive. I am also glad that the accompanying migraine has found the door. At least I had a little variety in with it this time! Emma wept, Mary nursed me like an angel, and Kirby took care of the family, etc. plus he read Dickens' Christmas Carol to me until I fell back asleep last night. Jack was even quite kind to me, when he saw me suffering in bed. Poor boy. I am blessed to have a comfortable home and caring family, especially when feeling a little under the weather. And thank goodness it's over before Christmas!

The other day Jack mashed his thumb in gym at school. Dancing. Actually, it's a nasty sprain that has doubled the size and added some interesting color variations to the skin of his right thumb. So he hasn't been able to practise the piano for the past few days. We miss the rousing renditions he normally provides us of an ever growing list of hymns, while we are getting ready for school in the mornings! :( He has been advised by his parents that he may quit studying piano when he can play the hymnbook, and he isn't wasting any time.) His sisters, however, continue to practise away, and I love listening to their music. So tonight I am grateful for my Grandpa who funded the piano we received as children, and parents who funded the lessons... And for the insanity that drives me to teach my own children to play. I am the only person I know who does this, and for good reason. Living with one's piano teacher, day in and day out... practise in and practise out, requires alot o...

Yes, I am grateful for my slow cooker. It's just your average crock-pot, but when you think about it, that's saying something! Very little preparation time, the simplest ingredients, several hours of doing sand thinking about other things, and voila- dinner! Not just any old dinner, either. Oh, no. The tenderest meat, the most infused flavors, the fewest dishes. And I should add that it's great for fondue, or chocolate making... Today, for example, I went to my piano lesson, came home, threw (almost literally- it was that fast!) a frozen pork roast into the slow cooker, did the house (the very quick version), ran out to watch Mary's school class at the ice rink, took some cute pictures, brought her home (running errands on the way), and continued with an eclectic combination of the children's after school chats, piano practise,  laundry, and so on... A little before dinner, I opened the pot, and sliced (if you can call it that- it was falling apart!) the meat... The...

We made hundreds of fondant dipped Callebaut chocolates here today. Seven women, nine small children,  and one large golden retriever. It was great. Few things are more satisfying to me than having people in my home and feeding them. I inherited this trait from my parents, and from theirs... I wasn't exactly serving meals today, but the volume of yummy food we made and tasted was enough to trick my 'feed people' gene into feeling very satisfied indeed. I am thankful for Cavell, who gave up her day to help and teach us. And I am so happy to have countless cherry, orange, and almond chocolates I can share this Christmas. Now for the Veto. How can I describe to you the bizarre and hilarious 'voice' and matching 'personality' Mary does now and then... If you are lucky enough to be near this charming girl, maybe you can ask for a taste. She makes me laugh so hard I am crying, and can go on as long as she likes, producing tears of mirth in her often serious mothe...

I am happy to say that we finally have our tree up! And everything else... now the house feels all cozy and there's that special Christmas tree-light glow permeating the whole place. Aaahhhhh... This is kind of a Charlie Brown moment for me. And sadly, I think Kirby feels our tree is a tad bit Charlie-Brownish. But it's like something homey out of a story book. What more could we really ask of a tree? He picked a good one. Poor Jack got roped into pinning up a ribbonny garland around the living room, which makes him feel almost Grinchy... Oddly, he isn't a fan of garland. He was up sick more than once last night, with a nosebleed thrown in for good measure, but thankfully he felt pretty much better by lunchtime today, and I think he will have his energy back up by tomorrow morning. Mary and Emma were adorable, doing the tree ornaments, among other things. Kirby made some good headway with the outdoor lights, after setting up the tree, and ~calmly~ stringing on its lights. D...

I missed a day not long ago, and I want to mention a couple blessings I shouldn't fail to count. One is big and one is small. I will tell you the little one first: A mini series on BBC TV called Bleak House. (Yes, from the novel by Charles Dickens- also very good :) I am so inspired my the humanity of some of the characters in this literature/drama... I want my children to see it. Enough about that- it speaks well for itself... The big blessing I must relate to you is a shining example of heroism that has had and I think will always have a powerful effect on us, especially on my boy, Jack. A 19 year old boy who has been a good friend to my 13 year old. That's saying alot right there about his big heart and good nature- but it gets better. He just donated one of his kidneys to his father. I thank Heaven that my son has the privilege of rubbing shoulders with such a selfless hero as Dustin.

Thank Heaven for a day of rest. I am blessed to have this carved out every week of my life, thanks to my religion, and I really make the most of it! Today after church I cozied down on the couch in the warm sunshine with my girls and wrote Christmas cards. It was quiet and peaceful and I loved every minute of it... I think more of the family and friends in my little address book, of course, when I am writing to them- so thank Heaven for the old tradition of Christmas cards! After dinner (an eggy and vegetabley version of shin-ramyun- instant spicy Korean noodle soup made by none other than -the man who cooks ;) we moved the sofa to sit together and watch and listen to the broadcast of the Christmas Devotional from the Prophet... Mary and Emma knit- I wished I could knit too, but that's out now :( ... anyway- I am happy they like to do it! I actually fell asleep. (Near the end! I didn't miss much of the music and words of love and inspiration- don't worry!) Then I played a l...

Oh yeah, and one other little thing I like about Grandpa- the kind of daughter he raised to be my Mom... She's great. I am breaking out the Christmas recipes here, and starting to make some of those special treats she made for us when were little... the orange rolls and Swedish strips are a couple all-time favorites that will always smell and taste like home. And I hope I'll get a Christmas visit with her this year... she's like Santa Claus and a fairy godmother all rolled into one- this lady loves Christmas! I know why. It's because she's all heart; loves giving. And she loves Jesus. Her children are all blessed to never doubt our mother's faith. And she loves us... it all started when we were fat little babies. She adores little people, and I guess by the time we weren't so itty-bitty-adorable anymore it was too late- she was hooked.  :) Oh, and I hope next week I will maybe accomplish as much as she does in an average day. Now that my children are half gr...

I got a great e-mail the other day from my 84 year old Grandpa, who is a very cool guy. Easily the most considerate person I know, he is a hero to me in many ways, and I am very aware that my life is blessed by his... He constantly models a love of learning, and a caring interest in people. He has a way of making the one he is with feel like the most fascinating person anywhere... I especially love the memory of his recent visit down here; seeing my little Emma absorb his loving attention while she talked about dolls and other such interesting matters in her life. She glowed, basking in the warmth of his undivided attention, and I'll never forget it... Of course, no one can do me a greater kindness than to love my children- I am a mother! And for myself, I have yet to see a birthday or Christmastime pass without a beautiful handwritten card, often containing a touching message, and a gift. I don't even know how many grandchildren, never mind great-grandchildren he has, (between...

A couple winters ago when I was suggesting to Kirby that we transplant ourselves to a more civilized climate, the poor man mildly suggested that we invest, instead, in a very warm coat... which we did. For everyone. And when I went out this morning, I appreciated some very good returns on that little investment. I am probably the most bundled person I know around here, and that's all right with me. As one who 'feels the cold', I am very grateful for everything cozy I have, in which I can wrap every part of myself, before braving the elements. And my children, too! Just looking at anyone who doesn't appear snug outdoors is enough to make me cold, so imagine my children's joy at the process of escaping the house in the mornings! Alas, I am resigned to their dressing more and more to their own idea of 'warm enough'... Still, it's a great comfort to know that none of us really ever need suffer with the winter weather. And I can always warm their hearts with ...