blessings...

So far the best part of my day has been the part I have been up for. The afternoon... :) And in that time I have put myself together, done a little laundry, eaten a banana and one of Mary's yummy brownies (yay, the doctor said I have to try going back on a normal diet for the next few weeks- Christmas cookies, here I come!), watered the plants, and had reasons to talk with several of my friends. A couple on the phone, but mostly online. I am blessed to have some of the kindest, most positive and caring people I know as my friends. We can laugh together and help each other out, do things together, and feel connected, appreciated, and understood. It's a perfect pick-me-up for times like this, when I come into my day rather late, feeling a bit shell-shocked... I need to break out of my little headachey world, and keeping in touch with my friends snaps me into reality pretty nicely! Speaking of which, I think it's time for me to add to my impressive list of accomplishments for...

So happy just now to be up and enjoying the light of day with almost no pain, as the worst migraine I can remember has kept me in my dark and silent bed since early yesterday. And grateful in my heart that even when I woke up with it yesterday morning, finding no relief after over an hour from my medicine, I was given a blessing which brought miraculous and instant relief, allowing me to go to church- where I had the sacrament (which grace I always feel the need for by Sunday!) and to teach a lesson to the Relief Society class on a topic close to my heart- gratitude. :) I have a consult with another doctor this afternoon for another delightful little matter, which I hope will soon be dealt with and over... how blessed we are to live in a time and place where good medical care is available to all of us- not always fast or pleasant, but it doesn't take much imagination to see how life would be without it. Oh and one more thing that I feel very grateful for at the moment- that I was a...

We took the children to the lake today to play on the ice and in the snow, so now it's officially winter! They raced over the ice on crazy carpets, and made up a curling game with rocks... It is usually a little uneasy for me, playing out on the ice over a deep cold lake, but today I was unconcerned. Emma and I waltzed- it was perfect! Then, on to the main event of our day- building the pseudo-igloo in a huge drift... I think today's snow fort was the best ever. This is all part of a favorite tradition of ours; every winter we go out there at least once or twice, and it's always pretty memorable. How do I enjoy the cold, snow, and ice? Easy. There are these lovely little cabin-huts by the shore, where I keep the home fires burning, the hot chocolate hot, and smokies and buns at the ready. My other pleasure on these winter play days is being the event photographer. That way we never forget the fun that all these sub-zero temperatures and howling winds bring. I am blessed to...

Yesterday I was at a university hospital having a painful procedure done by the neurologist, her desperate effort to prevent my almost daily migraines. It hurt, and I was glad Kirby was there holding my hand, as I couldn't help crying. This morning when Mary came in to see me, (I will still have migraines for the next couple weeks even if this works, and I have to cut back on the meds I indulge heavily in to be as functional as I am, so I was lying in the dark again...) she was sweetly moved with compassion seeing the little bruises on my face, and I felt blessed by her caring tenderness. When I finally emerged from my bed,  just a little while ago, the first thing I did was take a hot shower. It will always be a luxury, no matter that I can enjoy it every single day. I am so blessed to be able to feel hot water warming and cleansing, and relaxing... How many live without this simple pleasure? I can't take for granted today the refreshing comfort it is to me.

I really believe in attachment parenting, so I am always looking for ways to connect and reconnect with my children.  So often though, the business of day-to-day life can take over and leave my loving intentions in the dust. It is these times, like tonight, that I really appreciate the hour (or minutes :) I can claim with each of my dear little people (including the not so little boy) for a while at the end of the day... Emma and I wrote and decoded messages to each other in her cool new alphabet/language. She is so creative! Then I moved next door where Mary showed me how fast and furious she can solve a tricky new kind of math equation she's been learning at school, and we chatted over a magazine we both enjoy, all while I put braids in her hair for cool waves tomorrow! Jack and I usually hang out in the living room, since his bedroom is a tad chilly for me and my low blood pressure (read- chronic chilliness :) He tells me about the latest amazing developments in the world of su...

I am and always have been and always will be blessed with the gift of a good dad... He has shown me amazing unconditional love all my life- he still calls often just to keep in touch, then really listens and speaks from the heart. I can tell he's sincerely interested in and supportive of me and my family. As one of his four daughters, it has taken me until very recently to really appreciate his ability to handle us (including our emotions :) with true fatherly sensitivity and skill. He's always demonstrated acceptance and understanding to each of us, which is really saying something! He likes hunting, and baseball, and military history and dogs... but he loves his family, and we always feel it. I appreciate his example of kindness and humanity, patience and peace, loyalty and hard work. The longer I live in the world, the more I recognize the value of this powerful gift... I and my life will be forever blessed by his strong and decent influence. Thank Heaven for Dad... He'...

Last night I took awhile to fall asleep. Let me say right away, I appreciate that this is only an occasional treat for me ~ someone I know and love has done more, on less sleep, than I can wrap my head around. Just thinking about her life makes me tired! Still, she does it with charming grace, and brilliant energy... day after night after night after day... Thank Heaven for her shining example to keep me from self pity when I am especially tired. Speaking of which, I am now reminded by my eyelids of last night's adventures with my pillow! What I feel really grateful for right about now is that day is done. Two out of three are tucked in, and I am not long from such a state myself. Aaahh...

Sundays I always feel more of the Spirit, my favorite feeling... it makes me happy, and really, what do I want more than that? Exactly. I woke up to my dear little daughter making me gluten-free pancakes, since she couldn't bear for me to miss out on the regular ones she was making for the rest of the family! That's pure love, and I felt it. I listened closely as my friend's son spoke to us at church... he has only just come home from a mission. I hope that one day I will see my own son become that kind of strong and good man- one who loves God and cares about people. I listened to a friend, and felt like I wanted to, and could help... I know that is what the spirit of charity feels like. I watched a film about the restoration of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and I was touched to tears by the sense of love and truth I felt in its message. I thank Heaven today that I, flawed as I am,  can feel God's spirit of love and joy and peace, even here in this imperfect world...

Kirby and I just got home from a day at the temple and then in Lethbridge- on winter roads that in itself is a blessing! And it's sweetened because we found our children safe and sound asleep in their beds (in a clean house :) ... no one crashed when they went out sledding today while we were gone! All very happy... However, what touches me most tonight is the way I felt listening to a couple songs (river, and song for a winter night) from a favorite Christmas album of ours... Kirby and I had been talking about Christmas presents for each other. It's hard to think of anything we might like, or use, that is even remotely affordable, that we don't already have! So we both said what we never thought we would; neither of us really wants the other to buy us gifts this year... I told my hard-working husband that I want to give him something special- 'the gift of contentment'... (more on that later). He, for his part, always wants to give me so very much! Anyway, as we wer...

I love books. They take me places I can never go, allow me frequent time travel, and give me the benefit of experiences I could never have- including some experiences I would never want to have! Sometimes I miss England; I crave the culture and castles and cobblestones, and rain on green grass, ivy on the brick garden wall, old streets and houses, the beach and pretty hedgerows in rolling fields, the way our language is spoken, and the roses out my kitchen window... this is my favorite place to go when I am tired of real life at the end of the day. And when I read true stories of heroes who brave the intense storms of their lives with courage and love, I want to face my own days with a fearless heart. I like how my books make me think and see the world and its people from so many new and different perspectives... Old novels are my favorite way to learn history and absorb cultures in which I will never actually immerse myself. I do not have a university education at my fingertips- but I...

I like being here at my house- it's cozy. Especially when it's minus twenty degrees outside, and I have a blanket here on the couch, or a blanket and a space heater if I'm downstairs, or a nice hot bath if I'm upstairs. Pretty much, I just like to be warm and this is where it happens most. And best. I am thankful for lamps and a furnace, and a warm duvets on our beds. So while I'm here being warm, these are some things I am happy I can do... read, do laundry, cook, keep in touch with loved ones, clean up (10 minutes in any given room = my version of instant gratification :), sit and talk, eat, play the piano, look after my family, make photo albums and other cozy things... And actually I like to watch good films in the family room sometimes, too- even when I am ironing through the movie. I can get alot of clothes ironed that way, being warm the whole time! I believe the parts of life that I would happily forgo are more tolerable because we can be cozy at home in bet...

The snow is cold and not nice to drive in (at least I have a car :), but it is so pretty! Of course it's the first real winter weather we've had; I probably won't feel the same about fresh snow in March or April, but today I think it's just lovely... It's easy now to see it as a gift from above, making winter look good. It's got the girls and I thinking about Christmas, and Jack thinking about skiing. I think Kirby is just busy thinking about his masters paper! But what is really Heaven sent for me just now is the mercy of my little Mary girl. She and Emma were playing out in the snow yesterday evening before supper, and a window broke. It was an accident, and it was only the outer pane, but I am ashamed to say I got angry and shouted at her. She wept and apologized and pulled out all her Christmas savings, and then very sweetly forgave me when I simmered down and said sorry to her for losing my temper. Just imagine how I felt when the doctor said her eye was s...

Emma got a strike up at the bowling alley with her school class! I am having a very busy day, and then in the middle of all the hustling around, I got to be there for her big smile when she scored! It definitely made my day. :) She is a great girl, and I live for those smiles- the happy moments...  I thank Heaven today for the privilege of being her mother. There are few things so satisfying as being with my children- connecting, and knowing I can make life a little sweeter for the ones I love so much. xo

Today I went shopping in the city with a friend- it was hard work, and we had fun together, because she is a fun person:)  We found some clothes for ourselves and our families and some Christmas things for our homes, and I brought home a couple of interesting books. The part I am grateful for tonight, in a funny way, is that we didn't really need any of what we purchased. It is all icing on the cake. We are so blessed to live in such a prosperous time and place; there is more than enough to go around. If someone needs- I mean really needs- something, there is almost always a way to get it. I thank Heaven for butter on our bread and icing on our cake, and more than that, for the sweet family I brought it all home to.

I love cooking, making food for my family, friends- anyone I can get into my kitchen, really. But today, when I came home from church with a lingering migraine and sweet little daughters who wanted to spend some time with their mama, I was oh so happy to have Kirby say he'd be doing the cooking today. When the missionaries arrived at 5, we all sat down to a delicious roast beef dinner- and yummy dessert afterward. Talk about going the extra mile. I love this kind man who so often enjoys doing loving and helpful things that show me, and our lucky children, that he really means what he says when he tells us he loves us.

Earlier today Kirby and Mary and Emma were out for a while, so I had Jack all to myself. At about noon,we walked up into the hills by the creek with Jasper. He stayed close to us because Jack carried the ball. My boy talked with me about cars of course, and other things too, when we could hear each other. We got a pretty intense workout, pressing into the gale force wind, and when we came back home we had lunch together. I should probably stop feeding him; yesterday I bought him a pair of size 12 basketball shoes. No more milk, anyway.  ;) Today I'm just happy we're friends.  A boy is one thing, a 13 year old I can like is a gift!

So glad today that even though it is windy and cold (for a cozy-loving girl like me), there is sunshine... That even when I don't feel well, there is medicine... That when I'm in a low mood, it will pass... (And I can usually help it along out by doing something happy :) That even though I am not the person I hope someday to become, there is time... That even though there is always more to do than time to do it, there is such a thing as enough... I am grateful for grace.

Last night a soldier, R.C.M.P. officer, and friend came to talk to my cubs about Remembrance Day. He did a great job, and I appreciate the time he took after a long day of work, and with a young family at home, to bring his things and teach the boys what it all means. Then this morning my children had a soldier song playing on youtube before school. So here's me, in tears, writing about tomorrow, today. I just can't comprehend the sacrifice that has been made, and is still being made, by soldiers who leave loved ones safe at home to go slay the dragons for us. I will be forever thankful to Dad, who kept us standing in the bitter Grande Prairie cold, at a Remembrance Day ceremony where we'd gone up to visit our grandparents. I thought he was so mean. Since then, of course I realize that he was passing on the family values of peace and freedom, there in the snow. Remembering. Thank Heaven for Grandpa, and the thousands of others who've traded their comfort, and sometimes ...

I have a friend who doesn't have much , and I read a line from her today saying how grateful she is to have a home... she'd seen how some poor people far away are without even that. I told her that her gratitude is the gift that allows her to enjoy all the other ones. And I believe it. I am so touched by her example . If she is thankful for her poor home, I must be very thankful for mine, too. And my life is really so overflowing with blessings ... I loved walking in the cold sunshine this morning with a friend... I loved finding a sweet little love note from my husband this morning... I am grateful for a beautiful family, and clean air, and even the dog... I could go on forever like this; I think I will. ..